If you’re feeling all the fucking rage, and the anger, and the frustration, and you're afraid of, or uncomfortable with these emotions- welcome.

Today we're going to talk about why we experience these super charged emotions, why it can be scary to feel them, and how we can actually use them as valuable resources for creating clarity, strength and positive momentum in our lives. And no, this is NOT going to be a load of toxic positivity bullshit. 

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Welcome to Creative Self Care, I'm Crystal McLain — somatic practitioner, nervous system educator, and your guide to stress management, resilience building, and radical self-reclamation.

If you'd like to support this work and want to dive deeper with practical tools and a supportive community, come find us in The Uprising over at Patreon. To learn more visit The Uprising

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WHY WE FEEL RAGE

Alright my friend, let’s start with why we might be experiencing emotions from rage family. 

If you’ve been hanging out with me and The Uprising at Patreon, then you know that your nervous system has one job- and that job is to keep you safe. And the emotions and physical sensations you experience are a biological reaction to your nervous system detecting something unsafe. 

And when that happens- when your nervous system detects something unsafe- the autonomic nervous system kicks into gear and sends you into either a state of fight-or-flight, or fawn-or-freeze.

And if this is new information for you, and you’re thinking- holy shit, I really need to understand how this nervous system works, so I can take better care of it- I’ve got you. Inside The Uprising at Patreon I have a self guided course called, Turn Stress Into Strength- where you’ll learn everything you need to fully understand how and why you respond to stress the way you do. And more importantly, how to process it so you can move out of nervous system states like rage, fear, and overwhelm. 

Anyway, rage typical pops up because a boundary has been crossed, a need has been blatantly ignored. Rage is your body’s way of saying: hello, we’ve been violated here, do something about it! And that heat, shakiness, the muscle tension- that’s literally your body preparing you to take action, whatever that might mean in the moment. 

And when we follow through, and take action, that signals safety to the nervous system, it completes our body’s stress response cycle- bringing us back to a more homeostatic state, where we feel more calm, clear, and in control. 

But it’s not that simple, is it? 

Some rage doesn't come from one clean, identifiable violation you can point to and resolve quickly and easily. 

Some of it's been brewing since childhood.

Some of it's inherited — from systemic oppression, ancestral trauma, generations of people who weren't allowed to feel what you're feeling right now, so it got passed down instead of processed. 

Some rage is felt on someone else's behalf, from watching people you care about get hurt-  and have nowhere to put that stress energy. 

And some of your rage has come from so many directions and has been redirected so many times, that you've lost track of where it actually started. You just know you feel angry, a lot.

So, it’s complicated. It's old. And it's not going anywhere until it has been witnessed and worked with. And not just once, but regularly, for a while. Maybe forever.

So here's the real question — if our rage is sitting right there, ready to be felt and processed, why don’t we? 

Sure it’s complicated. Yes, it takes time. But I think the real resistance to the work is that rage evokes a lot of fear.

FEARING OUR FEELINGS

A lot of us have learned that expressing our rage is dangerous — there's too much to lose if we come across as angry in a "polite" society.

We’re afraid of our reputation being tainted, of becoming a disruptor, no longer being seen as the composed, easygoing or nice person. You might be afraid of losing your job, your relationships, or sadly, in some cases, losing your fucking life. 

I get it. 

Playing polite means playing it safe. That’s why so many of us have gotten really good at keeping calm and keeping the peace. We’re staying neutral, we’re staying quiet. Because one of our basic, primal needs is to belong to community, to be in relation with others. 

It’s how we survive. But at what cost?

Whose peace are we really keeping by suppressing our feelings? Whose safety are we protecting if we continue to allow our boundaries and integrity to be compromised? Who stands to benefit if we don’t speak up against injustice towards ourselves or others?

Ignoring the storm that’s brewing inside you is not doing you any favors. It’s distorting your energy. It’s fueling self-doubt. It’s inflaming resentment. It’s frying your nervous system- making you more emotionally reactive instead of thoughtfully responsive. Because we’re not here to just release our rage so we can just go back to being passive and compliant in our own suffering. We don’t want to release our shit so we can go back to being a “yes girl.”

Remember, that rage has something to say about your boundaries, your values, your wellbeing. So instead of trying to not feel it, and instead of fearing it, I invite you to get curious about it. To explore safe and healthy ways to process it, so you can use it as the valuable resource it really is. So you can stand up for yourself and the shit that really matters. 

And I know that sitting with your rage may sound scary, not just because we believe we’re safer in our silence, but because we may also fear our power. 

We see a LOT of destruction and harm coming from the hands of angry people, so it’s natural to fear that within ourselves. It makes sense to be concerned that we may also become that destructive and harmful. But that’s a model for dominance- not personal or collective empowerment. 

That’s why we’re going to be responsible. We’re going to tap into our values and ethics first. We’re going to put intention into our practice. We’re not here to release fury onto anyone else…at least not yet (haha). We’re here to find a way to let off some fucking steam so we can take effective action- establish boundaries and stand up for our needs from a place of clarity and confidence.

So let’s talk about how we do that.

USING RAGE AS A RESOURCE

Alright, your rage, your fury, your anger- it’s not a problem. It's information — and once you understand and embrace that, it becomes a useful tool for supporting your nervous system- just like any emotion.

But, it points straight to your values, and gives you cues to what really matters in your life. And when you get real clear about what’s important to you. You know exactly what needs protecting, what needs to change, and what you're no longer willing to accept. So, that clarity is the first thing we’re going to utilize. 

The second thing is the fuel itself. Rage is energy, and energy has to go somewhere. And you get to choose where it goes, and how it gets delivered. But we don’t do that just by thinking— we do it by moving the physical body in some way that expresses that rage. Because the body is what's holding it. So it needs to release it.  And there’s no one or right way to do this. Whatever form of expression feels right for your current moment, is exactly what you should be practicing- whether it’s shaking, writing, screaming into the void. It’s all valid.

And not to sound like a broken record, but this is what my Patreon is for. This is why I teach Creative Self Care. This is why I’m building The Uprising. You deserve to have the knowledge, and tools, and community that help you expand your body literacy, and deepen your self awareness, and teach you how to love and fucking empower yourself.  It’s possible for you to get to a place where you instinctively tap into your body, recognize your needs, and intuitively tend to them.

And that happens so much easier when you’re supported in that process. 

That's why I offer the course: Turn Stress Into Strength. That’s why I share weekly self-reclamations, why I’m building a bank of nervous system regulating tools, why I’m checking in personally. It’s all at Patreon and offered on a sliding scale, because your well-being shouldn’t be blocked behind a fucking paywall- though I do appreciate a monetary exchange if it’s available. So, if you want to dive deeper into this work, I just posted a bunch of tools for Rage + Injustice at Patreon the collection called The Practice, and it pairs perfectly with today’s post. 

Alright my friend-
I love you.
I appreciate you.
I’m so proud of you for showing up today. 

I’ll see you soon. Bye.