Creating Peace and Power in the Face of Fear and Uncertainty

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Life is full of ups and downs, but sometimes the downs can really rattle us, making it almost impossible to enjoy or manage much in life.

Sometimes there's something so catastrophic that it completely disrupts the nervous system and leaves you stuck in a place of panic, dread or hopelessness. 

My friend, if this is how you're feeling, I'm so glad you found yourself here with this post. 

Today we are going to take a little look at what happens to the brain and the body when it's feeling unsafe. And then, we're going to learn some things to help us create peace, power and resilience in our lives. 

If you're a Patreon member, then you know that you get bonus content with every post I make, ranging from journal prompts, digital downloads, tutorials, you name it. But with this post I'm offering free access to the bonus content because collectively we need you (and every one of us) to be present, confident, and able to constructively collaborate with one another, if even on a very small scale. 

My name is Crystal McLain, this is Creative Self Care, and together we’re exploring new ways towards wellness, so we can effectively care for the mind, body and mother-lovin’ soul, and live healthy, empowered lives-individually and collectively.

If you appreciate what I’m doing here at CMC, want to support my work, and gain a more personal experience, consider joining my friends at Patreon for the same price as a cup of coffee. To learn more about our community and how we’re making a positive impact, you can visit crystalmclaincreative.com

Alright, let’s get to it.

So, the first thing I want to talk about is how the brain and body work together at maintaining something called homeostasis.

Homeostasis is the ultimate goal. It's when your internal environment (meaning the inner workings of your meat machine) is balanced and healthy. Your nervous system, along with ten other systems throughout your body are ALWAYS working to achieve homeostasis. This is why your body shivers when it's cold or your stomach growls when you're hungry.

Your brain and body are always giving you signals so you can appropriately manage your circumstances. 

Sometimes the brain and body are able to take charge of the situation automatically, on their own. Like, if you're hot, your body will try to regulate your body temperature by sweating. 

But sometimes the signals are for you to take CONSCIOUS ACTION.

Like, dehydration. You might feel thirsty, or tired, or have a headache. You might experience muscle cramps, low blood pressure, or dry skin. These are signals that you need to drink water. Your body can't just make water, you are responsible for meeting that need. 

When your brain believes that you are not safe, it's going to put you into fight-flight-or freeze mode. This is called the sympathetic response. And I'll get into a few details in a minute, but first I want you to really pay attention to what I'm about to tell you. 

Your brain, can and will, initiate the sympathetic response even if you're not in current, physically in danger. You could be minding your own damn business, sitting safely in your own home, and still feel threatened. 

I cannot tell you how many times in my life I have been told that I was overreacting. And if you have ever felt unsafe, or have had anxiety in your life and someone tells you that you're overreacting, or that it's no big deal, or that you're "fine" or that everything will be "okay", then you know how EXTRA disruptive that is to your nervous system. 

Those words can do such great damage, and leave you feeling like there's no safe place to express yourself. Or, you learn to detach from, or numb your feelings in unhealthy ways. Or, you learn to mistrust or misunderstand your emotions. 

I am telling you, your feelings are not only valid, but they're valuable information that will help you to better understand what you truly need. 

Alright, back to the sympathetic response.

When you go into the fight-flight-freeze response, your body is AUTOMATICALLY preparing you to deal with the scary situation. You might need to fight, you might need to run, you might need to hide. So your blood pressure and respiratory rate are going to elevate. Your digestive and reproductive systems are going to slow down. And your body is going to be pumped full of cortisol and adrenaline.  

But, again, you might actually be safe in your own home, with some food in the fridge and a dog on your lap. This can be kind of confusing to the brain, right?

Like, literally, in this present moment you're probably, technically okay. But your nervous system might be saying, "the fuck we are." 

So, what's happening here? 

Well, in a nutshell, there's conflicting information, which overwhelms the brain. And the longer or more often we go without facing our feelings and circumstances with facts, science, and our inner truth, and just allow our lizard, reactionary brain to have full control of the situation, the more likely we are to live in a constant state of stress. 

When we're living with chronic stress, the reactionary, emotional part of the brain, called the amygdala, is the driving force behind our choices. And when the amygdala is fired up, it's much, much harder to access the rational, critically-thinking, good-decision-making part of the brain, which is the prefrontal cortex. 

When your brain is scrambled up in fear and confusion, all it wants to do is protect you. So, it may cleverly convince you to access things that aren't actually making you feel safe, but rather, distract or suppress those unwanted emotions. 

This could look like overconsumption of just about anything including alcohol, drugs, spending, gaming, gambling, food, and media. These things can give us a false sense of safety and security because they increase our "feel good" hormones like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin. And while it is critical that we DO access these hormones, it's important that we do so in ways that empower us, and support our health, wellness, and satisfaction.

It is critical to your peace and to your power, that you practice self care that gets your prefrontal cortex onboard, regulates your nervous system, productively manages your stress, and elevates all those good hormones. 

Alright, these are some things we can do to create our peace, power, and resilience...

1. SEEK OUT SAFE SPACES

1. The first thing I would advise anyone, if they felt their safety was being compromised, is to reach out to an organization that will take immediate action in helping them to access safety. There are hotlines all over the country that people can call that will help them receive necessary support and services.

2. If you have mental or emotional health concerns, accessing group or individual therapy provided by a mental health professional will give you a safe place to explore and process complicated and overwhelming emotions. Be sure to do a little research about your health care provider, to make sure that your values align. You want to make sure that their services are going to meet your needs. 

3. There are support groups that address specific issues that are often lead by mentors or people with personal or professional experiences similar to yours. You can often find these groups through social media, medical professionals, advocacy organizations, and community or spiritual leaders.

4. Reach out to friends and loved ones who you feel seen, heard and respected by, and who will have your back when you're at your most vulnerable.

5. Look to your community for like-minded people who are organizing around similar issues and interests that are important to you. Expanding your social circle, and building connections with uplifting people will help you feel more secure in the world.

2. MINDFULNESS

I know we're all probably a little tired of hearing about mindfulness, and wondering how the fuck meditation is going to make our fears go away.

I'm here to tell you that mindfulness and mediation are NOT going to make your problems disappear. That's not the point.

What mindfulness does, is train your brain to be strong and focused enough to be able to interrupt the sympathetic response so you can access the tools that will allow you to be in control of your thoughts and actions. 

When the scared, lizard brain takes the wheel, we have a tendency to make rash, reactionary choices that do not serve us well. That includes spiraling into toxic narratives, buying into fear-based beliefs, and reaching for all of the things that numb and distract us.

All of those things are going to escalate your feelings of insecurity and hopelessness. And that's not what you need. 

Practicing mindfulness strengthens the prefrontal cortex so you can think more rationally, and make decisions that better serve you and your nervous system. Mindfulness is an important skill for building confidence, control and resilience.

3. FIND THE TRUTH

Fear can be a liar. That's not to say that you don't have legitimate things to be afraid of, or to worry about. But fear can spin lies, making us feel small, limited, and powerless.

But you are much stronger than you may give yourself credit for.

Behind your fear is a person capable of being present, and showing up for the things that matter. Because of neuroplasticity, the brain and body's natural ability to adapt and learn new things, you're able to create new habits and a lifestyle the empowers you. And that's a fact. That's science. And there's something quite grounding and encouraging about knowing this truth. 

Fear is a reaction, but bravery is a choice. And you, my friend, are capable of being brave.

4. PROCESS EMOTIONS

Emotions are how the body responds to stimuli. That means the brain is reacting to the sensory input it gathers from our eyes, ears, nose, mouth, skin, and gut. But, because a lot of our feelings are uncomfortable, we want to feel them. So we ignore them. 

Sadly, when we ignore our feelings, they don't actually go away. In fact, they usually just get worse, or confusing, and end up causing more problems.

The solution is taking the time to process them.

Identifying, accepting, and expressing your emotions will help move them move along. It will also improve your emotional intelligence, and build confidence and resilience. 

5. SET BOUNDARIES

Boundaries are the limits and rules that people set for themselves to define how they want to be treated and what they are comfortable with. These can be physical, emotional, or mental boundaries, and they apply to all types of relationships, even the relationship we have with ourselves.

Though they may feel scary to establish at first, boundaries, in the long run, can help you feel more confident because they show that you value yourself and your rights. You deserve to feel safe and respected, and it's up to you to determine what that means. 

6. GET PHYSICAL

Because our emotions are physical things, it's extremely helpful to use the body as a tool for processing them. There are actual chemical and electrical reactions that ramp us up, slow us down, or keep us shaky and frozen. And depending on where our energy and chemistry are at, we can create balance in the body by engaging in different types of physical activity. 

Cardio-centered exercises can help burn off excess energy, or help boost it if you're low. Whereas slower, more restorative movement can help settle restlessness. And, all physical activity is going to lower cortisol, and increase endorphins.

7. CREATE SOMETHING, ANYTHING

There is something SO empowering and affirming when we create something. It's says, "I am here, and I am capable." And I don't care if it's a shitty poem, a painting, a soup, or pillow fort. Bringing something into existence, is fucking incredible. 

• Being creative can be a form of safe, self-expression.

• It requires you to tap into your critical thinking and problem solving.

• It can provide a sense of purpose and fulfillment. 

• It can reduce depression and anxiety. 

• It can inspire all sorts of other magic in your life.

CONCLUSION 

Alright, my friend, remember, it's okay to not be okay sometimes. Emotions are a natural reaction to this whole messy human experience. But the more comfortable we become navigating our emotions, and the more we prioritize the safety and wellbeing of ourselves and our nervous systems, the more empowered and resilient we'll become. 

You deserve to stand strong in your peace and your power, and to have hope in your heart. And I hope that today's tips will help you with that. 

If any of these steps sound interesting or helpful to you, you can find further resources to help get you started at Patreon. Again, today's bonus content is absolutely FREE, even if you're not a member. If you appreciate this content, would like to support my work, and it's within your means, you can become a member for the same price as a cup of coffee. 

I love you. 
I appreciate you. 
I believe in you. 

Let's do this.