In times like these, where it feels like the world is designed to keep us divided, and social media algorithms feed us opposing viewpoints, and national and global events can make everything feel uncertain - I want to talk about something that can help us to feel a bit safer, more grounded, and possibly even bring a little fun, happiness and progression into our lives - and that "thing" is community.
My name is Crystal McLain, this is Creative Self Care, and together we’re exploring new ways towards wellness, so we can effectively care for the mind, body and mother-lovin’ soul, and live healthy, empowered lives-individually and collectively.
If you appreciate what I’m doing here at CMC, want to support my work, and gain a more personal experience, consider joining my friends at Patreon. To learn more about our community and how we’re making a positive impact, you can visit crystalmclaincreative.com
Alright, let’s get to it.
So, there's actually some science behind why community makes us feel better. When we're part of a supportive group, our bodies are going to produce less cortisol, which is our stress hormone, and more oxytocin, which plays a key role in forming social bonds and fostering trust between individuals. It promotes social connection, which can lead to improved cognitive function, reduced stress levels, elevated mood, stronger resilience, and even a lower risk of chronic diseases because it enhances immune function. But beyond these benefits, something even more magical happens.
When we’re around like-minded people, who are into the same things we are, we start to feel safe enough to show up as our full, authentic selves. We dare to take up space unapologetically. We freely use our voice, share our ideas, and express our truth. Because when we're surrounded by the right community, we're reminded that our perspective matters, our presence has value, and our voice deserves to be heard.
So, here's what I really want to share with you today - creative ways to find or build your community, because I know it can feel overwhelming, especially these days when so many of us are feeling isolated, or trapped in our stress cycles. It’s hard to get out of your head and your house when you’re feeling these sorts of ways. So let's break it down into some manageable steps.
Finding meaningful community starts with knowing what your values and interests are. Values are the deep beliefs and principles that guide your life choices - things like environmental sustainability, social justice, education access, or community care. These core values often lead to the most profound connections because they represent what people stand for, and what they're willing to fight for.
Then there are interests - the activities, topics, and pursuits that bring joy and pleasure into your life. These might be creative endeavors, outdoor adventures, intellectual pursuits, or cultural explorations. When you lead your life from a place that honors your values and interests, you’re going to make your soul gremlin happy. And when align your values and interests with those of others, that's where genuine community starts to form.
But, I know it can feel harder to make connections as we get older. I’m a middle aged woman who lives in a rural area and works from home, so I totally get it. I’ve actually been feeling this way myself. But the reason it feels harder is because we get settled into our routines, and our established friend groups. We also get choosier about who we invest our time with, so it feels like there aren’t as many options. And, it feels harder because we’re fucking tired, and have other obligations that already feel like a lot. That said, having community is really, REALLY important these days, so that just means we need to get a little more creative, and a little more intentional about how we build it.
Instead of reinventing the wheel, look for groups that already exist around your interests and values. Think about the things that matter to you, and where you might find those people.
-
If you're a reader, independent bookstores often have amazing reading groups and sometimes writing workshops
-
If you love to get your hands dirty, community gardens are full of people who want to grow both plants and relationships
-
If you're into mindfulness or meditation - there are communities and classes that are literally designed for people seeking deeper connections through things like yoga, meditation and tai chi
-
If there’s a cause you care about, activist and volunteer groups often become like family because you're all working toward something bigger than yourselves
-
Community art centers often bring people together from all walks of life, and you don't need to be an artist to find connection there. Sometimes the best communities form around simply appreciating creativity together
-
And if you simply love learning, there are skill-sharing workshops out there- whether you're teaching or learning, there's something about expanding knowledge with others that creates really special bonds
Now, you might be wondering how to actually find these spaces. Here are some ways you can discover community activities:
Digital platforms:
-
Local events websites like Meetup.com or Eventbrite
-
The NextDoor app is for hyperlocal community events
-
Your city or town's official website event calendar
-
If you’re using Meta, Facebook has events and groups, and you can use Instagram location tags and local hashtags
Traditional sources:
-
Community bulletin boards at places like libraries and coffee shops
-
Local newspapers and community newsletters
-
Parks and Recreation department programs
-
Community education catalogs
-
Public library event calendars and programs
Word of mouth:
-
Ask local businesses related to your interests
-
Check in with spiritual or cultural centers
-
Visit neighborhood community centers
-
Talk to people at farmers markets and co-ops
-
Connect with your town's Chamber of Commerce
A lot of these spaces also have email newsletters you can sign up for those and stay informed about upcoming events and opportunities.
Alright, so now you have lots of options, which can also feel overwhelming. My first piece of advice is, keep it simple and start with one, or maybe two sources that feel most comfortable for you to be a part of, and align with your values and interests. And then, you can gradually expand from there.
My second piece of advice is to show up consistently. It might feel awkward at first - but that’s normal. New things feel awkward. So try not to be discouraged by that. It will get easier. If you listen to your gut, you’ll know the difference between a place not being right for you, and an experience just being new and weird.
My third piece of advice is to stay open to the possibilities and believe there’s a place where you’re going to feel safe and like you belong.
If you want a little help keeping all of this organized, I've created a download to help you dig deeper into why community is important right now, to help you define the types of communities you’re looking for, to keep track of organizations you’re interested in, and to keep in touch with the incredible people you meet along the way. You can download this at Patreon, and you don't have to be a paying member to access it.
Alright. If life has taught me anything, it’s that you never know who you’re going to meet, or what kind of opportunities will unfold for you. But it’s only going to happen if you show up. And when you do, and you find your community, you become a part of something bigger than yourself.
Your presence matters. Your voice matters. Your energy and wisdom contributes to creating the kind of world we want to live in - one where people feel seen, heard, and valued.
And if this message is resonating with you, and you want to go deeper into building meaningful community, I invite you to join our own growing family over on Patreon.