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Do you ever find yourself feeling stuck, like you're incapable of making even the tiniest decision, or doing the smallest task? Well, you can blame your brain for throwing you into something called functional freeze.
Today, here at CMC, we're going to learn exactly what functional freeze is, why it happens, and most importantly, what we can do to overcome it, so you can show up in life like the decisive, proactive badass that I know you're capable of being.
My name is Crystal McLain, this is Creative Self Care, and together we’re exploring new ways towards wellness, so we can effectively care for the mind, body and mother-lovin’ soul, and live healthy, empowered lives-individually and collectively.
If you appreciate what I’m doing here at CMC, want to support my work, and gain a more personal experience, consider joining my friends at Patreon for the same price as a fancy cup of coffee. To learn more about our community and how we’re making a positive impact, you can visit crystalmclaincreative.com
Alright, let’s get to it.
So, the functional freeze response is a COMPLETELY natural reaction that occurs when the brain's feeling overwhelmed, making it HARDER for you to do seemingly simple things, despite being a relatively functional human being.
Signs that you may be in functional freeze are:
- Feeling disconnected from your body or surroundings
- Having a hard time thinking clearly or making decisions
- Ongoing, low-levels of depression or anxiety
- Wanting to isolate or disconnect from people
- Trouble taking care of yourself
- Procrastinating and having a hard time starting or completing tasks
- Exhaustion or struggling to move your body
Now, I don't know about you, but all of this feels pretty relatable to me.There have definitely been lots times throughout my life when I've felt like this. And I'll share some of those stories with my Patreon family. But right now, let's talk about why this happens and what you can do about it.
So, when the brain doesn't feel safe, it signals the body to activate the sympathetic response (which we all know as fight, flight, or freeze). This means your body is literally preparing itself to fight off the danger, flee from the danger, or freeze to protect yourself from the danger.
Now, whether you fight, flee or freeze, your body is going to:
- Increase heart rate
- Elevate blood pressure
- Speed up breathing
- Activate muscle tension
- Slow down digestion
- Release adrenaline
This response is controlled by something called the autonomic nervous system (which means it happens automatically, without your conscious control). And, we LOVE that this happens automatically, because we don't have the time to sit and contemplate our circumstances when we're in real danger.
But here's the thing, a LOT of times when this response is triggered, we're not actually in danger. We're just feeling uncomfortable or challenged in some way.
And you totally know what I'm talking about. There are so many things that queue the freak show in our brains:
-
Psychological stressors: Work deadlines, arguments, conflict, boundary breaking or setting, public speaking, financial worries, unfinished chores, social obligations, new experiences, general feelings doubt, worry, shame, fear
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Environmental stressors: Loud noises, bright lights, extreme temperatures, crowds of people
- Physical stressors: Acute or chronic pain, illness or infection, allergies, PMS, headaches, muscle tension, exercise, digestive issues
Now, under the best circumstances, we're able to experience non-life-threatening stressors, have all the thoughts and feelings that come along with those stressors, but then tap into our prefrontal cortex so we can think rationally about the situation, make choices that deal with them in an appropriate way, and get on with our damn lives.
But for someone who is living with chronic stress, trauma, or unresolved emotional issues, these regular, every-day stressors can keep them in stuck in that sympathetic response.
But, because the brain is clever enough to eventually figure out that you're not in real danger, you can appear to be relatively "fine"- showing up enough do things like go to work, or feed your kids. But, behind the scenes your nervous system is actually running on overtime trying to keep you feeling "safe", but also making it really fucking hard to be present in your mind, body and life.
What's literally happening is, your amygdala is driving the bus. The emotional part of your brain is causing you to make reactionary choices based on those fight, flight or freeze feelings. And this likely means that you're going to be exhausted and choosing things that feel easy, comfortable, predictable, or hits those dopamine buttons just right.
And while those choices might feel "good" in the moment, they're not the choices that are going to get you out of this sympathetic cycle, and move you forward.
If you've been taking my FREE online Creative Self Care course, you know about something called the cognitive triangle. In short, the triangle consists of your thoughts, feelings, and actions, and each of these things influence the other.
Your thoughts are going to influence your feelings, both emotional and physical. And your feelings are going to be the driving force behind your actions. And your actions reinforce your thoughts.
Here's a super simple example.
Let's say you're a person who's been living with chronic stress, for whatever reason, and you've got a mountain of laundry you've been avoiding for a really long time. And every time you look at it, you beat yourself up because you haven't dealt with it. You throw down some shame, you call yourself some names, and you question why you're so lazy.
This is going to make you feel really, really bad, not just emotionally, but physically. And your brain is going to perceive this as a threat, and put you into the freeze response. Which is why you can't seem to deal with the laundry, even though you WANT to.
So, instead, your brain is going to tell you to go have a snack, check your phone, or go do almost anything else that feels easier than the laundry, because that is going to give you the illusion of feeling safe. And the next time you pass that mountain of laundry, those same negative thoughts are going to pop back into your head, but this time they're going to be even stronger, because your previous actions reinforced your your original beliefs.
Do you see how this works?
Now, this is all happening subconsciously, as a reactionary cycle. And how we're going to break this cycle, is by accessing the power of the conscious, thinking brain, and creating a somatic experience that helps regulate the nervous system.
But first, COMPASSION
Alright, the first thing I need to tell you is that you need to be compassionate with yourself. Being stuck in functional freeze does not mean you're failing as a human. On the contrary, it means your systems are working just as they're designed to. The only issue is that your autonomic nervous system has been running on autopilot long enough to convince you that YOU are no longer in control.
But that's not true. You made the choice to read this post, so that's proof that you're the boss of you. You just need a reminder, and a little practice, which you can start doing in two ways.
1: Identify What's Going On.
My advice for this first step is to practice it when you're feeling relatively in control. Like, perhaps, right now.
Reflecting on a time when you've felt frozen in the face of a challenging choice, what was going on with your cognitive triangle? I know you were in a freeze response, but do your best to either remember or imagine what was happening.
What thoughts were running through your head?
What emotions and body sensations did you experience?
How did you react as a result of these thoughts and feelings?
WRITE THAT SHIT DOWN. Manually writing (if it's accessible to you), will not only improve brain function that controls movement, vision, sensory processing, and memory, but it will also act as a way of processing your thoughts and feelings out of your body.
Once you've written down what's going on, then it's time to write down a plan for the changes you're going to make.
How would you like to mindfully RESPOND?
How do you need to feel in order to respond this way?
What thoughts or narratives do you need to have to evoke these feelings?
Boom. There's your plan.
2: Practice Grounding Techniques
Grounding techniques are things you can do to become present in your body or in your moment.
If being present in your body feels safe, you can do things like deep breathing, body scans, active relaxation or some kind of mindful movement like yoga.
But, if being present in your body doesn't feel safe, you could practice noticing things in your environment like shapes, colors, sounds, or textures. Honestly, it doesn't have to be more complicated than that.
Now, what's happening with these seemingly simple exercises is you're literally creating new neural pathways, which rewire the conscious brain to be in control, and able to focus and witness without judgment. And this is an important skill when we're trying to redirect the emotional, reactionary brain towards more thoughtful and supportive thoughts and actions.
Now, don't go and do this once and expect miracles. That's now how this works. You're going to have to practice these grounding techniques throughout the day, for several days, maybe even months. Little by little, you should start noticing that you're able to gain control of your thoughts more easily. And as far as the writing goes, I'd do it daily if you can. And over the course of a month or two you can read back and see how your thoughts, feelings and actions have changed.
Alright, my friend, that's going to do it for today. If you want to become a master at Creative Self Care, you can sign up for my free online course or become a Patreon member, which also means that you're supporting my work and contributing to the Give-Back Program.
I'll leave a links to everything below.
I love you.
I appreciate you.
And I'm so proud of you for being here today.
I'll see you soon.
