The bad news is, no one is coming to save you. But the good news is, you don't need anybody to. In fact, I'm not sure you even need saving...
In today's podcast we're going to tear open the constricting bodice of a fixed mindset, reveal your cape, and take the first steps towards becoming your own superhero.
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Welcome to the podcast, Unlocking Wellness! I'm Crystal McLain, Licensed Clinical Massage Therapist, Empowerment Coach, and Self Care Apothecary and I'm exploring ways to unlock our wellness barriers so we can create Self Care Independence, because we find our freedom when we’re living well.
Hello my friend, I hope you’re doing well, and if you’re not then I hope you find this episode motivating. AND, if you’d like to read along while you listen, I offer that feature at my website: crystalmclaincreative.com. You can find a direct link to this episode in the show notes below. And, if you want to make sure you never miss an episode, you can either sign up for my newsletter, or subscribe to my podcast wherever you like to listen most.
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So, if you’re into it, I’ll leave links to all this stuff below in the show notes.
Alright, let's get to it.
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So, I had quite a bit of trauma that stitched the first half of my years together. And this fabric wrapped tight around me and kept me from making good decisions. It kept me bound, and disempowered, and unable to take care of myself properly.
But for the external world, I used to put on a pretty good show. I was a 'life of the party' kind of girl, a five-star employee, I paid my bills on time and kept my home clean. I looked like I was in a good place. But the truth was, if I wasn't 'on', I was actually paralyzed by the weight of my young life.
I would reach for almost anything that would numb or distract me from my reality. And if I didn't have anything available, I'd simply crawl off to the safety of my bed, hoping the next time that I woke things would be better.
But it never was better. And it never would be if I didn't DO something about it.
(sigh)
I'm not sure if you've seen the quote floating around all the socials these days, but it goes to the tune of:
Someone else may have caused your trauma, but it's your responsibility to heal from it.
Kind of a shit deal, right?
Like, when you were in a vulnerable or impressionable state, someone may have taken advantage of that. Someone may have hurt you in ways that rewrote your consciousness code, and programmed you for anxiety, depression, fear, doubt, hate, whatever bullshit that plagues you now.
If this is you, let me say, I'm so very sorry. I really do understand.
But here's the thing. That's over now. At least, I HOPE it's over. I hope you're not currently in a situation where someone continues to keep you backed into a disempowered corner. But even if you are, I'm here to tell you, you don't have to be.
I fully understand that every situation is unique and comes with a myriad of complicated variables. Life. Is. Hard. And it can be scary, and tricky, and exhausting.
But this post isn't about how hard life is or how tired you may be feeling. It's about YOU being an empowered badass that is fully capable of taking care of your shit DESPITE the difficulties you may face.
One of the things that I learned about challenge is that it will continue to amplify the longer we sit idle by it.
What I mean is, the longer I put off managing my addictions, the stronger my additions grew. The more I wallowed in my place of lack, the greater the deficits grew. The more I believed in the impossibilities of my situations, the more impossible they became.
Let's do a little exercise.
Grab something nearby that's small and light. Like a pen or something.
Hold it in your hand with your arm fully stretched out in front of you.
And keep holding it there while we continue on with this post.
Don't put it down. Keep it up...
Okay, great.
So, the longer we avoid taking care of the things that need our attention, the bigger and more complicated they'll become. The deeper engrained in our truth they'll stay. And the more they'll rob us of our joy, energy and wellbeing.
So, how did I make the shift from avoidance and numbing to becoming an active participant in my wellness?
Excellent question.
Well, for starters, I was letting shit from my history dictate my present life. And I expressed this in the form of blame. It was easier for me to blame my shortcomings on my past trauma than it was for me to take responsibility for setting a new course for myself.
I also had to come to grips with the fact that no one was coming to save me. I am responsible for making the choices that lead me to a healthier, and more fulfilling life.
I had to start proving my subconscious wrong. I'd been programmed to believe that I couldn't live a healthy life. That I was undeserving of love and respect. That I was destined to live a life with lack and limits.
Every time I'd try to make a positive shift in my life, I could feel the anxiousness swell in my chest. I could hear the whispers, "this isn't for you, you don't deserve this, you're a fool, it's going to be too hard..." But despite those thoughts and feelings, I went ahead and tried anyway...
And this, my friend, is all about changing your Mindset.
Your mindset is kind of like the filter through which you see yourself and the world. It can be fixed, rigid, and black and white. Or, it can be open, flexible and colorful. And the more you practice challenging your old ways and beliefs, the more freedom you'll find within your mind. And, consequently, the more empowered you'll become.
So, hey.
Are you still holding your arm out in front of you?
If so, how does it feel? Tired? Probably. Go ahead and put it down if you haven't already.
So I did this exercise to make a couple of points.
The first point is to demonstrate the truth, that the longer we avoid dealing the discomfort, the bigger it grows. Even if we think our issue is small and insignificant.
The second point is about choices.
You may have been the person who knew immediately that if you held your arm out for a long time, it would have grown tired and achey. So maybe you didn't even bother with this exercise.
Or, maybe you started out with your arm extended, but then ended up bracing it or putting it down after a while.
Or, maybe you kept it out the whole time despite how much it hurt. And if so, maybe you did it because you were ashamed to put it down. Or, maybe, you liked the challenge of it.
Or, maybe you weren't phased by this exercise at all.
The point is: You. Have. Choices.
And, you have choices despite what other people may request from you. And you get to make those choices based on how you FEEL.
So, here's the takeaway from today.
- Someone else's actions may have been the cause of your suffering, but it's YOUR responsibility to heal from them.
- The longer you avoid facing your challenges, the more challenging they'll become.
- YOU get to make your own choices because you are the only person who will ever live your life and feel your feelings.
Alright, my friend. I hope you found some inspiration here today. And if you did, please feel free to share this post, make a comment, or share the love in whatever way you'd like.
I love you.
I appreciate you.
Thanks so much for being here.
I'll see you soon.
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* Information from this website should not be used as a replacement for medical treatment, and should not be considered as a substitute for conventional medicine or therapy. Information from this website does not claim to heal or cure.